New Year Reset

Embracing a New Year Reset for a Fulfilling Life: Uncover strategies to revitalize your personal journey, cultivate positive habits, and navigate life's challenges with resilience. Explore meaningful resolutions and practical tips for a balanced and rewarding year ahead.

New Year: Personal Growth and Positive Change

Now is the time to reflect and set intentions for the year ahead. As the new year begins, it's natural to feel the urge to evaluate our lives, habits, and connections. Take a moment to consider the quality of your relationships and where you might seek greater fulfillment. Are you giving too much to others at the expense of yourself? Use this transitional period to cultivate new connections and release those that no longer serve your well-being.

Boundaries:

Reflecting on the last 6 weeks or so can go a long way in crystalizing what is working in your life and what is not. Pause and think, were you feeling invisible, seen, thought of often, or obligated? Were you able to secure that promotion, or were you passed by? It's essential to ponder on what the holiday season has taught you and how you presented yourself. Did you find yourself overwhelmed and snippy, or were you able to remain relaxed? Perhaps it was a bit of both. Take a moment to jot down some notes, as they will serve as valuable reflections come next fall when the holiday plans get set in motion again. It's easy to get caught up in nostalgia and make decisions that lead to later regrets.

Prioritizing Self-Care and Mental Health:

Today, are you feeling energized by the promising possibilities of the upcoming year, or are you weighed down by a sense of being overwhelmed? Remember, prioritizing your mental and physical well-being begins with you, and this could indeed be the year where you seize the reins and take charge. The present moment is the perfect opportunity to proactively seek out the support and guidance you need, whether it's from healthcare professionals, nutrition experts, fitness trainers, or therapists. If the prospect of embarking on this journey alone feels daunting, there's no need to hesitate. Surround yourself with a dedicated team of professionals who will stand by your side every step of the way.

A Supportive Community:

Have you found your people yet? When you look back on the year, do you find yourself longing for deeper connections? If so, take this opportunity to create a strategy to seek out those who resonate with your values or passions.

Your Intimate Relationships:

Are you finding genuine happiness in your relationships, or have the recent months brought forth underlying issues that need attention? It can be daunting, yet taking a proactive step towards seeking assistance has the potential to bring about transformative changes in your life. Take the time to deeply reflect on your role within your relationships and consider reaching out to a professional counselor if you find yourself grappling with uncertainty or confusion.

A new start begins when you make the conscious decision to leave behind the familiar and embrace a newer path that holds the promise of growth and positive change. I sincerely hope that as you embark on this journey, you discover fulfillment, tranquility, and genuine peace along the way.

Lisa Schneider, LCSW is a psychotherapist in NY, CT, PA and CO and can be reached at www.acalmplace.net lisaschneiderlcsw@gmail.com

Overwhelmed working moms and the holidays

'Tis the time to be merry, or so they say. But for exhausted moms who work at home or outside, it often feels more like the time to perform magic tricks while handling many tasks. As holiday decorations go up, stress levels rise for moms everywhere. They not only manage work chaos but also create a festive atmosphere at home like the North Pole. Along with daytime school and daycare celebrations, they handle party supplies, find special outfits for concerts (this year, it's a plain green shirt and jeans. Jeans?), and deal with the pressure of creating a picture-perfect elf (more mess? Oh joy).

Deep breath. Does it have to be like this?

Attention working moms: it's time to embrace the idea of setting reasonable goals for yourselves. Remember, perfection is only possible if you have enough time and resources. So this holiday season, let's embrace the imperfect wrapping job, slightly overcooked turkeys, and the joy of letting go of unrealistic expectations that can spoil the festivities. Here's to a holiday season full of laughter and toasting, imperfectly perfect, just like the dedicated moms who make everything happen. Cheers!

But wow, the guilt! The guilt! It takes away all joy. Can you take a step back for a moment? What do you really want this year? A perfect holiday card? Okay, if you can do it without crying. Freshly baked cookies? Okay, can your kids help and enjoy…or will there be more tears? Lots of nicely wrapped gifts? Okay, can your kids sit through the day or do they get overwhelmed and…cry? I see a pattern. It's helpful to start with the end in mind and work backwards. Remember, the only thing you should feel guilty about is not giving yourself enough credit. Taking a broader perspective is helpful when you focus on creating memories with your family. It can help you figure out what to let go of. If it still feels too much, it's time to ask for help. So, gather the troops! Get your kids to be Santa's little helpers, assign your partner as the chief gift wrapper, and entrust Aunt Mildred with the famous family stuffing recipe. Communication is important, so don't hesitate to express your need for support. Open up the lines of communication, and you'll be surprised at how willing your loved ones are to lend a hand.

If this overwhelming sensation of impossibility feels like a heavy weight on your shoulders, please know that therapy can truly be your guiding light. Exhausted moms, who often bear the burden of countless responsibilities, can discover a safe haven of solace, comfort, and invaluable support through the expertise of a skilled therapist. These professionals possess the remarkable ability to help you unravel the intricate layers of your needs, particularly during the holidays, when the pressure intensifies and becomes most palpable.

Remember, you're doing an amazing job, and if anyone disagrees, tell them the Grinch called – he wants his unrealistic expectations back.

Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist if this feels overwhelming. Help can make all the difference during these transitions.

This blog is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. In crisis? Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org/ or dial 911.

Lisa Schneider, LCSW is a licensed therapist specializing in parenthood and women’s health spaces. She practices in NY, PA, CT and CO and can be reached at lisaschneiderlcsw@gmail.com

thanksgiving Recovery

As a new parent, the echoes of Thanksgiving laughter and the aroma of shared meals may still linger in your home, but so too might the echoes of family dynamics and the stress that can accompany the holiday season. As we recover both physically and mentally on the unique experiences and challenges that arose during this time, it can be helpful to unpack what was learned.

From juggling the needs of a newborn to managing family expectations, the holiday drama can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. As we enter into the world of holiday time, explore how to unpack those moments, find solace in the chaos, and pave the way for a more serene recovery as we venture into the next chapter of parenthood.

In the whirlwind of post-Thanksgiving emotions, new moms often find themselves on a rollercoaster of feelings, and that's entirely expected. Unfulfilled expectations and frustrations can cast a shadow over what should be a joyous time. From the overwhelming moments to the ones filled with pure joy, every emotion is valid. Perhaps you envisioned a serene family gathering, but reality unfolded differently. Maybe the exhaustion of new motherhood collided with a lot of older relatives being VERY clear about what they think of your parenting style.

By normalizing these feelings and acknowledging the impact of holiday expectations, you take the first steps towards a more compassionate self-reflection, laying the groundwork for a mindful and intentional post-Thanksgiving recovery.

So how do you manage after frustrations and tears showed up along with the apple pie? Let’s start with some self compassion. Your emotions are not a sign of weakness but rather a testament to the strength it takes to navigate these challenges. The overwhelming nature of caring for a baby, combined with the pressure to create a perfect holiday experience, can bring even the most resilient individuals to tears.

Allow yourself the grace to feel, release, and then gather strength anew. Reflect on your experience and think about addressing some issues that arose. Often, these times are full of boundary testing, leading to frustration or anger. The holiday season has a peculiar way of testing the boundaries we've carefully set, and as a new mom, these tests can feel particularly pronounced. Whether it's well-intentioned family members offering unsolicited advice or the gentle (or not) nudges from loved ones to participate in more festivities than you feel comfortable with, boundary testing can be emotionally taxing.

It's crucial to recognize that setting boundaries is not only an act of self-preservation but a necessary step in maintaining your well-being. Politely communicate your limits and priorities, remembering that it's okay to prioritize quiet moments with your baby over extensive social engagements. As you navigate this delicate dance of asserting your needs, know that boundaries are a form of self-care, and preserving your peace is a gift not only to yourself but to your growing family.

Compassion for your loved ones can be helpful as well, as often these boundary issues can stem from a well intentioned idea of what the holidays look like with babies but may not be fully realistic.

If you are finding yourself overwhelmed or feeling frustrated or resentful after Thanksgiving, it can be a sign to evaluate your own boundaries and communication styles. Reflect on how you communicated your needs during the holiday, and you may find ways to make your needs clearer and the holidays more enjoyable.

This can be helpful to unpack with a licensed therapist, and a lot of people find this really helpful to talk over plans durning the holidays. You can also check out the awesome book by Nedra Glover Tawwab Set Boundaries, Find Peace.

Holidays don’t have to be endlessly stressful, and I hope you are able to reflect on what went well and work to enjoy the rest of the holiday season.

Lisa Schneider, LCSW is a licensed therapist specializing in parenthood and women’s health spaces. She practices in NY, PA, CT and CO and can be reached at lisaschneiderlcsw@gmail.com