thanksgiving Recovery
As a new parent, the echoes of Thanksgiving laughter and the aroma of shared meals may still linger in your home, but so too might the echoes of family dynamics and the stress that can accompany the holiday season. As we recover both physically and mentally on the unique experiences and challenges that arose during this time, it can be helpful to unpack what was learned.
From juggling the needs of a newborn to managing family expectations, the holiday drama can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. As we enter into the world of holiday time, explore how to unpack those moments, find solace in the chaos, and pave the way for a more serene recovery as we venture into the next chapter of parenthood.
In the whirlwind of post-Thanksgiving emotions, new moms often find themselves on a rollercoaster of feelings, and that's entirely expected. Unfulfilled expectations and frustrations can cast a shadow over what should be a joyous time. From the overwhelming moments to the ones filled with pure joy, every emotion is valid. Perhaps you envisioned a serene family gathering, but reality unfolded differently. Maybe the exhaustion of new motherhood collided with a lot of older relatives being VERY clear about what they think of your parenting style.
By normalizing these feelings and acknowledging the impact of holiday expectations, you take the first steps towards a more compassionate self-reflection, laying the groundwork for a mindful and intentional post-Thanksgiving recovery.
So how do you manage after frustrations and tears showed up along with the apple pie? Let’s start with some self compassion. Your emotions are not a sign of weakness but rather a testament to the strength it takes to navigate these challenges. The overwhelming nature of caring for a baby, combined with the pressure to create a perfect holiday experience, can bring even the most resilient individuals to tears.
Allow yourself the grace to feel, release, and then gather strength anew. Reflect on your experience and think about addressing some issues that arose. Often, these times are full of boundary testing, leading to frustration or anger. The holiday season has a peculiar way of testing the boundaries we've carefully set, and as a new mom, these tests can feel particularly pronounced. Whether it's well-intentioned family members offering unsolicited advice or the gentle (or not) nudges from loved ones to participate in more festivities than you feel comfortable with, boundary testing can be emotionally taxing.
It's crucial to recognize that setting boundaries is not only an act of self-preservation but a necessary step in maintaining your well-being. Politely communicate your limits and priorities, remembering that it's okay to prioritize quiet moments with your baby over extensive social engagements. As you navigate this delicate dance of asserting your needs, know that boundaries are a form of self-care, and preserving your peace is a gift not only to yourself but to your growing family.
Compassion for your loved ones can be helpful as well, as often these boundary issues can stem from a well intentioned idea of what the holidays look like with babies but may not be fully realistic.
If you are finding yourself overwhelmed or feeling frustrated or resentful after Thanksgiving, it can be a sign to evaluate your own boundaries and communication styles. Reflect on how you communicated your needs during the holiday, and you may find ways to make your needs clearer and the holidays more enjoyable.
This can be helpful to unpack with a licensed therapist, and a lot of people find this really helpful to talk over plans durning the holidays. You can also check out the awesome book by Nedra Glover Tawwab Set Boundaries, Find Peace.
Holidays don’t have to be endlessly stressful, and I hope you are able to reflect on what went well and work to enjoy the rest of the holiday season.
Lisa Schneider, LCSW is a licensed therapist specializing in parenthood and women’s health spaces. She practices in NY, PA, CT and CO and can be reached at lisaschneiderlcsw@gmail.com
