Overwhelmed working moms and the holidays
'Tis the time to be merry, or so they say. But for exhausted moms who work at home or outside, it often feels more like the time to perform magic tricks while handling many tasks. As holiday decorations go up, stress levels rise for moms everywhere. They not only manage work chaos but also create a festive atmosphere at home like the North Pole. Along with daytime school and daycare celebrations, they handle party supplies, find special outfits for concerts (this year, it's a plain green shirt and jeans. Jeans?), and deal with the pressure of creating a picture-perfect elf (more mess? Oh joy).
Deep breath. Does it have to be like this?
Attention working moms: it's time to embrace the idea of setting reasonable goals for yourselves. Remember, perfection is only possible if you have enough time and resources. So this holiday season, let's embrace the imperfect wrapping job, slightly overcooked turkeys, and the joy of letting go of unrealistic expectations that can spoil the festivities. Here's to a holiday season full of laughter and toasting, imperfectly perfect, just like the dedicated moms who make everything happen. Cheers!
But wow, the guilt! The guilt! It takes away all joy. Can you take a step back for a moment? What do you really want this year? A perfect holiday card? Okay, if you can do it without crying. Freshly baked cookies? Okay, can your kids help and enjoy…or will there be more tears? Lots of nicely wrapped gifts? Okay, can your kids sit through the day or do they get overwhelmed and…cry? I see a pattern. It's helpful to start with the end in mind and work backwards. Remember, the only thing you should feel guilty about is not giving yourself enough credit. Taking a broader perspective is helpful when you focus on creating memories with your family. It can help you figure out what to let go of. If it still feels too much, it's time to ask for help. So, gather the troops! Get your kids to be Santa's little helpers, assign your partner as the chief gift wrapper, and entrust Aunt Mildred with the famous family stuffing recipe. Communication is important, so don't hesitate to express your need for support. Open up the lines of communication, and you'll be surprised at how willing your loved ones are to lend a hand.
If this overwhelming sensation of impossibility feels like a heavy weight on your shoulders, please know that therapy can truly be your guiding light. Exhausted moms, who often bear the burden of countless responsibilities, can discover a safe haven of solace, comfort, and invaluable support through the expertise of a skilled therapist. These professionals possess the remarkable ability to help you unravel the intricate layers of your needs, particularly during the holidays, when the pressure intensifies and becomes most palpable.
Remember, you're doing an amazing job, and if anyone disagrees, tell them the Grinch called – he wants his unrealistic expectations back.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist if this feels overwhelming. Help can make all the difference during these transitions.
This blog is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. In crisis? Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org/ or dial 911.
Lisa Schneider, LCSW is a licensed therapist specializing in parenthood and women’s health spaces. She practices in NY, PA, CT and CO and can be reached at lisaschneiderlcsw@gmail.com
